


I Tried but I Couldn't Say Goodbye

by asofthesea



Series: whumptober 2019 [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dead Peter Parker, Delirium, Gen, Hallucinations, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019, now more than ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-12-01 20:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20886257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asofthesea/pseuds/asofthesea
Summary: He can already feel the tears pool in his eyes. The worst failure of his life coming back to haunt him. There is no doubt in his mind that he deserves this, but it just hurts so much.“Hey, kid,” he says to Peter.Prompt: Delirium





	I Tried but I Couldn't Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> WHUMPTOBER DAY 3!

“You need to eat,” the blue lady says as she tries to attempt to shove some food into his hands.

He pushes it away, “I’m fine, not even hungry.”

He really isn’t. He hasn’t had much of an appetite since Titan. Which was only a few days ago. They were hopelessly drifting through space.

She huffs and storms away, obviously frustrated with him. If Tony could care, he’d probably be frustrated with himself, too.

His leg bounces up and down. He isn’t really controlling it, it is just sort of happening. It is probably the anxiety, he’ll probably have another attack soon.

He just feels so useless. He should be doing something to get Peter back. Part of him just wants to lay down and die, but another part of him knows that he has to do something. As much as he knows he’ll hate it, he needs to get back to Earth and meet up with the rest of the Avengers.

Not even the sound of silence calms him. He knows that it won’t last long.

As if on cue, he appears.

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony has no choice but to turn around. He had tried to ignore him before, and it had never worked out well.

When he turns around, he can already feel the tears pool in his eyes. The worst failure of his life coming back to haunt him. There is no doubt in his mind that he deserves this, but it just hurts so much.

“Hey, kid,” he says to Peter.

Flakes of ashes are slowly floating off of the kid, not at the rate he disappeared, but ever so slowly. At the rate it is going, he has no idea how long Peter will be here this time.

“What’s happening to me?” he asks, looking down at his hands, fading away ever so slowly.

“It’s my fault, Peter, and I’m so sorry,” he apologizes.

When the kid had been going the first time, he hadn’t known what to say. Now, however, he knew he had to comfort and reassure the kid.

“I will get you back, I promise.”

“No you won’t,” Peter says with venom.

Tony takes a step back, “What?”

Peter rolls his eyes, “Come on, stop dancing around the obvious. I’m dead. It’s your fault. You failed to save me. There is no way you are going to bring me back, I’m gone, capisce?”

Tony can’t remember Peter ever saying _capisce_, but he has never seen Peter this mad before. The kid deserves to be angry at Tony, everything he said was true. It was all Tony’s fault that he was dead. If he had just done one thing different, then the kid might still be here. He hadn’t though, and he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry,” is all Tony can say.

“Ha, that’s funny,” Peter laughs, “those were the last words I ever spoke. My last words ever, wasted on you. Apologizing, for something that was completely your fault.”

Peter quiets before he says, “I was scared, you know? I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live the rest of my life with May and my friends, far away from you. I won’t ever get that, though, because you weren’t good enough.”

Instead of apologizing again, Tony just says, “I know.”

Peter’s tone becomes gentler, “I know that you know it was your fault. I know that even though the chances are basically like, zero, you will still try to bring me back. I know you’ll fail, probably kill yourself trying.”

Tony realizes that if he does fail, he hopes he does die trying. Dying would be better than this. In no universe should he get to live while Peter Parker is dead. Maybe he’ll get to see Peter again, although he doubts Peter would ever want to see him again.

He doesn’t even deserve to see Peter again, but oh, he so wants to. What he would give to see that kid one more time. He just needs to explain himself, to tell the kid that he is the one who should be sorry.

“How do you think my aunt will feel?” Peter asks.

“What?” Tony asks, completely blindsided by the question.

“When- if you get back to Earth, you’ll have to see if my aunt is even still alive. If she is, you’ll have to tell her that you let me die,” Peter says unapologetically.

That would be the actual worst. The only person who losing Peter would be worse for than him. Having to tell May, having to break her heart, all of her hope. He wondered if he would have to tell the kid’s friends, which of them were still alive. He selfishly wishes they all are so he doesn’t have to tell them.

That, and no one else should have to suffer the pain of living in a world without Peter Parker.

The pain he is feeling, he wants to protect as many people from it as he can.

Even though he knows it’s pointless, Tony says, “I really am sorry, and I am going to try to get you back.”

Peter looks down at his hands, which have started to disappear much more rapidly, “I don’t have much time, but I know you’ll try.”

They stare at each other as Peter disappears. Tony knows that it’s useless to try and stop it. He can’t stop it, never can.

Plus, Peter will be back to haunt him later.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you thought!


End file.
